Lessons Learned

The last few weeks have been stressful. My Dad was in hospital for three weeks, out of which two in the ICU. There were critical moments even and overall it has been a rollercoaster for the family.
I've changed a lot as a result of all that has happened in these three weeks and I'd like to share my learnings with all.

1. Don't put off for tomorrow what you can do today = True. It's in moments like this that you realise, that you should say what you feel to your loved ones or do what you have to do TODAY. Tomorrow is very uncertain. So be it making out that new insurance policy that you just kept delaying or hugging your child or doing that "routine" medical test. do as much as you can TODAY.

2. Save for a rainy day = True. Rainy days do come. And it is best to be prepared. It's all very cool to admire those people who seem to live for the moment and are least bothered about planning for tomorrow. Tomorrow when it does come with it's share of problems then one is not prepared to deal with it. This does not mean that you over plan and burden yourself constantly worrying about a problem or tomorrow, but not planning the basics is foolhardy.

3. Medical care in India has lost it's soul and Doctors are businessmen. Sitting outside the ICU 24 * 7 and seeing doctors come and go and other critically ill patients families what struck me what the common line once the doctor comes out of the ICU...."he/she is stable", "lets wait and watch", "I can't say".......and always looking at the mobile screen and hurrying to the lift.
No explanation to the family, no understanding of the situation, Nothing. The nurses are clueless and not so well trained. It is a joke.

4. Hygiene in Indian hospitals is a joke. My Dad was in a supposedly 5star suburban hospital. Basic common sense tells you that ICU patients are the most critical and susceptible to germs. Yet the A/C ducts of the ICU are covered in dust and anyone is allowed during visiting hours as is from outside ! with your dirty shoes, clothes, etc. Your not forced to wear gloves or a mask. What if I have a fever ? what if I have stepped in shit ? what if i've come straight off a train where 1xxxxxxxx people travel.....no worry....walk right in !

5. Pity for the middle class. After paying a monstrous bill and seeing others also in ICU pay the same (mid-upper 6 digits) I shudder to think how the common man can afford good treatment and care. The healthcare system needs an overhaul. Quality healthcare and the rates doctors charge for operations is out of the reach of many.

6. Hospital - Doctor nexus. Insane amounts of daily blood, x-ray, sonography , ecg tests for all patients. the nurses hardly wear gloves and masks yet you will be billed for a box of 50 gloves and masks every few days. The cardiologist-cardiac surgeon planning is to be seen to be believed.

7. Respect a hospital when you pass by. It is th closest thing to God like power. Somewhere in there there is a new life coming into this world in the maternity ward. Yet somewhere else someone is losing his/her life.

8. Do your medical tests regularly. Especially if you are above 50. Sitting in the ICU the amount of people with ..Strokes, Heart-attacks, kidney failure because of diabetes, cancer was overwhelming. A little study shows me that the odds of the above diseases in 1 in 5 with a poor lifestyle. That is a very very scary percentage. Simply put, imagine yourself in your car with your 4 friends or family. Now think 1 of those people out of the so few of you in that car is going to die after 50 out of one of the above. Not a very pleasant thought but reality of the rubbish quality of life we live today in India especially because of the assault of dust, germs, pollution and infected water supply.

9. Health is wealth = True. All the money in the world cannot make you happy nor can it buy you good health. E.g: Dhirubhai Ambani with his stroke. All his crores and crores could not give him his health back. While we crib and cry about so many materialistic things we should be thankful just for having a healthy body for ourselves and our parents, siblings, children. Nothing is more important. Trust me.

10. I have the BEST friends = True. Throughout the ordeal the only thing that has kept me sane has been the love of my friends. They have called, helped and supported more than I could ever imagine. Be it my school friends or college ones or gym ones or even online ones. The level of support has been just WOW. I cannot be thankful enough.

11. The Indian system sucks . We love our heros and "power" people too much. We bend over backwards for them. The mother-in-law of a poweful CM aspiring Maharashtra politician was in the ICU. While we "ordinary" relatives of the person inside can visit them only in the designated times, the relatives of the above person can walk in and out of the ICU as they please ! While we have only 1 pass and only one person can wait outside, they have 5. Are you saying my Dad's life is less important to the hospital that his mom-in-law ?
The pits was when his son wanted to take the lift down. His police escorts emptied the people already in the lift from a higher floor when the door open so they could go down ! is the person already in the lift less important ?

12. Respect the people in the "white coats". Don't only admire the Jack Welch's and Narayan Murthy's of the world. Admire all those people in white lab coats who toil aways for their lives in labs around the world...be it engineering or medical. So that we people have that new pill that cures us, that new injection that saves the life of a loved one, that safer plane so that we don't fall out of the sky, that new airbag in your car that just saved your life . Yet we forget them, when they have done so much. so we can be safer and healthier.

13. Read "The last lecture" by Randy Pausch

14. LIVE a balanced life. I am fed up with people being busy. All work and studies and no play. All stressed and solving the stress with alcohol or drugs or cigarettes or eating disorders. 90% of the people in hospital are with diseases related to the above.
Live a simple life. Part work part family part yourself. Have time for yourself and those around you. dedicate time for yoga or meditation or a sport or gym. have a hobby. meet friends and family often.

15. There is always someone worse off than you. I have told that to a lot of friends and use that line often. To console them and myself in the disappointments we face in our life...be it a missed promotion or a broken relationship. In my own case I was complaining of how life was so cruel and my Dad was lying there with 5 tubes/needles in him.
Then in the next bed was someone with 10 machines and 10 tubes and needles attached to him. Was his condition not worse ? Were his family not worse off than me ?
Remember that your problems however bad....especially materialistic ones , there is always someone worse off than you in this world. Who has lost more, who has suffered more. It will bring you peace and more importantly perspective.